Genre: Contemporary Romance
Love comes easy to some. It came easy to me. Loving him was never an issue. Appreciating him was as easy as breathing. Years of living a life of what others viewed as perfection gave me the security I thought was most valuable.
My marriage to Drake is symbolic of what others fight for, yet living in the glass house of perfection is the biggest challenge of my life. Life isn’t always what it seems. People change. Everyone has demons they fight and fighting them in secret to avoid letting others down takes its toll.
Love came easy, but maintaining it is a whole different game. I thought the happily ever after would be the end of the story. That wasn’t the case. There’s so much more. It’s only so long before the glass house of perfection is clouded with buried secrets.
Can we overcome this and get back to a place of true happiness, or will I always feel like I’m perfecting my acting skills to save face? Can I ever find the ending to this fairy tale life I wanted so desperately?
My biggest fear was something happening to my children, my husband, or my marriage. The moment that my worst fear became my reality is overwhelming.
I was wrong. I handled it badly. I don’t know what happened. I lost control of my mouth. I said things I shouldn’t have and worst of all didn’t mean. I wanted him to hurt. I wanted him to stop hiding behind the “life goes on” attitude. I wanted him to be angry and sad and just feel a fraction of what I’ve felt in this loss. I was selfish. I wanted someone to blame and yell at, and now, I think I’ve broken him. I think it’s done. He’s done. The fear of losing my husband has become a reality I never imagined it would be, and it’s because I emotionally drove him away.
I close the journal. I can barely see the words on the pages through the tears streaming from my eyes. I’ve cried more tears in the past few weeks than I think I’ve cried in my entire life. When I think it’s not possible to cry anymore, more come in spite of it.
The scene plays over and over in my head. Even in sleep, I can’t escape the argument. When my eyes close, it’s worse. It’s like a horrible show on repeat. I cringe, seeing the look on his face when I told him how I was feeling. I was just being honest. It was time—long overdue, actually. But I didn’t just tell him. I yelled it to the moons. I’m not even sure at this point I believe some of the things I said, yet I said them. Does that make it the truth? Does it make it hurt any less?
I’m cuddled up in the chair in the library afraid to go to our bedroom. Afraid that when he finally comes to bed I won’t be able to keep myself from going to him. From comforting him and seeking his comfort. The biggest issue I see is that I’m unsure of how it’s come to us being on different teams? We’ve consistently been unified on all major issues. Why is this so different?
I sit staring at the white shelves full of my favorite books. Books that at one point I loved to read to escape. However, over the years, finding time to be ‘me’ has been a challenge. I’ve morphed into a mom, a wife, and a friend who has left nothing left for me. I’ve forgotten myself. I don’t even know who I am right now.
Drake was my constant. When the pressures of everyday life overwhelmed me, I could escape into him. I used his strength. I found solace within him through our connection, and that has held me together. I’ve now made my husband, my best friend in the world, my enemy.
Sixty-three days ago, I lost everything. Our connection that created five little miracles now scares me. It’s too powerful. It hurts too much. His touch makes my skin feel electrified. It makes me forget the bad, the hard times, the stresses. I can’t forget. Forgetting is losing my miracle all over again
Tied Up In Heartstrings (Heartstrings #1)
Felicia Lynn, author of The Learning Curve series and Heartstrings series, is a transplanted Florida girl, born and raised, who lives just north of Atlanta, GA. She spends most of her days holed up in a cozy chair with her laptop, writing about the characters that live in her head. When she’s not writing, you’ll find her hanging out with her family and friends or interacting with her readers and fellow book lovers on social media! She loves traveling, reading, live music, baseball, good food and great company.
Felicia writes contemporary romance and co-wrote The List, a mystery/suspense book she collaborated on with professional poker player, Chris Bell.